Rockin' n Rollin' n buying 100 watermelon

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throckmorton

New discovery:

I am the world's best comedian when drunck


throckmorton

new new discovery;

me dizzy af and a loudmouth


2 notes


throckmorton
4 days ago

New discovery:

I am the world's best comedian when drunck


#yes

2 notes


throckmorton
2 weeks ago

maybe ghosts are just messin with us


3 notes



throckmorton
1 month ago

yo shit I just realized:

vannellope von schweets is the only Disney princess with a driver's license 



throckmorton
1 month ago

honestly, i wish everyone I knew would give me 1 dollar so that I could have many dollars with little sacrifice



throckmorton
1 month ago

now that tumblr is a shit-show I've been using it to do some PR by way of following a crap ton of people, some follow me back and I can funnel them to my other social medias

don't get me wrong I hate Follow-for-follow blogs but this has gained me like 10-15 followers every day I try it. 

Also, y'all should follow me on instagram


4 notes


throckmorton
1 month ago

now that tumblr is a shit-show I've been using it to do some PR by way of following a crap ton of people, some follow me back and I can funnel them to my other social medias

don't get me wrong I hate Follow-for-follow blogs but this has gained me like 10-15 followers every day I try it. 

Also, y'all should follow me on instagram



throckmorton

no one:

english people: youoroiyght?


thelldev

How dare you call me out on my own platform


#kjsiodf jioahgoaisdjof;j ad #god speaks #and in an english accent no less

19 notes


throckmorton
1 month ago

no one:

english people: youoroiyght?


19 notes


throckmorton
1 month ago

No one:

English people: choob


#text shit #meme #england


ravioli

Love is ornamental and useless


throckmorton

angry because you're alone on V-day Aren't you?


23 notes


throckmorton
1 month ago

Every aspect of childbirth sounds so unappealing-

pre-birth era:

-Morning sickness 

-swollen feet

-hormones go nuts

-no alcohol

-no cats

-people rubbing your stomach

Birth era:

-horror stories of labor pain

-ripping yourself open

-epidural=giant needle in your back

-having to wait around to deliver the placenta

-blood clots

-post-partem depression?

-getting stitches in terrible place

After Birth era;

-no sleep

-no sleep

-poo poo and throw up

-toddler-age

-kids are sticky

-so stickey what's wrong with them

-they inherit all your mental illness

-they're 5 now, you haven't slept in 6 years, you look terrible

Like people go through all this and go "it's really worth it I promise" then they bite a half-eaten, slobber-and-ketchup-soaked chicken nugget like they're Han Solo


#yuck #everyone my age is getting married and having kids #and they are all struggling

2 notes


throckmorton
1 month ago

"Live Laugh Love" but instead it's John Mulaney's "Eat Ass, Suck a Dick, and Sell Drugs" in cursive font decals 


#john mulaney has my heart #and my wallet tbh #drugs are bad tho kids

4 notes


throckmorton

youtube sucks for creators, however it's been around for so long that there has never really been a true competitor and thus, we are all stuck 


throckmorton

Here's a cool video through vimeo

https://vimeo.com/311313368

more review to come, although it seems to be just a curated workspace and not an "endless supply of random shit" like youtube


throckmorton

also, they have comedy:

https://vimeo.com/313246738

"im peach"


2 notes


throckmorton

youtube sucks for creators, however it's been around for so long that there has never really been a true competitor and thus, we are all stuck 


throckmorton

Here's a cool video through vimeo

https://vimeo.com/311313368

more review to come, although it seems to be just a curated workspace and not an "endless supply of random shit" like youtube


2 notes


throckmorton
1 month ago

youtube sucks for creators, however it's been around for so long that there has never really been a true competitor and thus, we are all stuck 


#youtube #the drama of it all

2 notes



throckmorton
2 months ago

real life is stupid, why can't I pay for things with my homemade trinkets and flowers from my garden? 



chanceyreblogs

I try to stay unopinionated on this blog but here goes:

PEDOPHILES/MAPS ARE GROSS MONSTERS DON'T FOLLOW ME IF YOU DISAGREE


22 notes


throckmorton
2 months ago

Oh my gard if y'all don't stop being mean to eachother I'm turnin this website around 

~~r i g h t  n o w~~


#I've never gotten a negative ask and I frankly don't care if I do #I try to be nice to everyone #unless their pedofiles or my highschool nemesis

5 notes


throckmorton
2 months ago

everytime I wear contacts I poke myself in the eye trying to adjust my glasses


1 note


throckmorton
2 months ago

"ma'am you have to move, this isn't legal"

Me: *Spread Eagle in the macy's parking lot*

"la vie est la douleur"
 


#wah wah noise


throckmorton
2 months ago

cashier: "That'll be $6.75"

Me: *places a sand dollar on the counter*

cashier: 

Me: 

cashier:  


#jazz hands #its a money joke #because capitalism sucks



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